I touched on this briefly my last post. But I honestly feel like I have finally started feeling in tune with my body. Hard to believe, I know.
What I am talking about is the art of realising when one is full. Of knowing when you are actually hungry and when you are bored. Of sitting down and enjoying meals and not picking constantly throughout the day. Of not eating just for the sake of it being 8am, 12pm, 6pm.
I am constantly surprised by this. Mostly because I am so used to eating all the time. To be constantly looking for the next meal. To have snacks and food surround me for fear of hunger.
Now it is different. Slowly but surely I am learning to actually listen to my body. What makes it feel good, what doesn't. Coffee my warm friend in the morning, is actually becoming a turn off as the heavy weight of the milk hits my stomach and makes me feel gross. Grapes I am loving at the moment. Same with banana and peanut butter on toast (random I know, but great when I get sick of eggs or porridge).
Once upon a time I looked forward to the weekend so that I could enjoy a massive cooked breakfast ( I love eggs). Now I can't even get through the same size plate. Instead I enjoy eggs with avocado on toast. Occasionally bacon for a guilty pleasure.
Cooked chicken from the super market actually makes me feel sick.
I still enjoy 'the good stuff'. I still occasionally over eat, as I adjust my eyes to that of my stomach and learn to say, 'I'm full'. But it is slowly but surely happening.
I am also delighted that my new partner has been very supportive. Happy to encourage me to do better, but appreciating me for who I am now. It's nice to have that encouragement come from a place of love. Too many people 'mean well' but their comments hurt rather than help.
So watch this space. Maybe 2015 will be my year after all!