Is it worth the guilt?

So lately I have been taking a step back from eating and weight loss. Mostly because I just can't summon up the energy to deal with it all.

I just want to be relaxed and happy and constantly feeling guilty isn't helping.

I mean do I want to over think everything I eat and worry about every bad thing that I put into my mouth? Or think about the consequences of just enjoying myself? NO.

That's just not realistic, or normal, or healthy. And I don't want that.

I am a long way from where I was. I am fitter and exercise more than I probably ever did and am even looking at increasing that after my holiday over Christmas.

I am eating more vegetables and fruit and cut out so much- lollies, chocolate, chips, sugary drinks, fast food.

That doesn't mean I don't ever eat the above, but compared to having something from all of the above every day, I am eating MAYBE one of the above a couple times a week. (Mostly chocolate. Dam that delicious goodness!)

That's good isn't it? Yet I am constantly thinking about how I shouldn't have had those dip and crackers, or those two pieces of chocolate, or that wine. But I did. So deal with it.

I am sick of second guessing myself and making myself feel even worse about something that to many others is just normal eating habits!

So I am taking a step back and just trying to enjoy myself and not over think it too much. This does not mean I am going to lapse back into old habits and all that ( I don't think I could even if I wanted too!) it just means I have to accept I am not perfect and that I can only improve.

I mean for heaven's sake- I am only 23!

Breathe.

Yes I want to lose weight. But I want to do it long term. I don't want to do something drastic and shock my system and lose a massive amount of weight only to put it all back on again when I resume normal eating habits. How is that healthy? How is that going to help me?

It's not. So this is me taking a step back and a deep breathe and try and look at things from a new perspective.

Toughening up

So lately I have been slowly drifting into bad habits. Not too much, but enough that I notice it and feel gross afterwords.

And I don't want that. I've started to fall into the trap of being too tired, unprepared and stressed to plan well and have good food on hand, and then I go buy unhealthy food.

Not extremely- not HJ's, Macca's KFC or any of those, but too much protein and not enough veggies. And not steamed but fried etc Those sort of choices.

And it's not good enough. I know that I am stressed, I know that I am tired, but that is no excuse. I also know what is good and bad for me and know that I am only hurting myself, not rewarding myself.

So time to take a step back and evaluate and get back into the game. It helps that I haven't been skipping exercise at least, and have in fact increased. I also have two extra hour sessions to use up as my friend just joined up. So that's an extra couple of sessions to work off the last week or two.

My main problem is lunch. Breakfast is fine, I get to work I have a coffee and cereal or toast with peanut butter. It's not a sugary cereal but heart foundation approved cereal and with rice milk as well. So I'm all good there.

But Dinner and Lunch are my problem. Especially as mum is stressed too so she has been in a simlar mood as me and we both can't bothered cooking proper meals. 

But I need to get back into it. Especially as it is nearing Christmas and the New Year and my trip away. If I slip now, I might slip further during the holiday season and that is something I don't want. I don't want to ruin all my hard work!

Especially as I am noticing my hard work, my arms are becoming more toned- I can see some muscle! My tummy isn't as bad as it was and my thighs are slowly shrinking. Clothes are starting to sit differently as my shape changes. It is both a good and a bad thing!

So I need to start making sure I have healthy snacks on me, yoghurt and fruit mostly. I don't want to have nuts as I have a problem with snacking and portion control that I want to break.

I also want to start cooking healthier meals and having more vegetables.

So the start to a new week and time to get back on track, starting with today.

Society Shift

I was reading one of the blogs I follow -Fit to Finish. Diane had written about Fat Acceptance on her blog which raises a controversial topic and one that is heavily talked about within "fat" circles. I have touched on this subject before, but reading it again in Diane's blog made me want to post about it again.

As someone who is overweight and not obese, I do not think my weight has affected me too much, but it HAS affected me and some of my choices in life. Sometimes more because I thought I was fat and shouldn't do something than because I actually physically couldn't do it. I can only imagine how that must feel for someone bigger than what I am.

Recently, I have made myself shift my way of thinking, forcing myself to stop thinking I can't do something, just because I think I shouldn't. But I get off topic.

I believe that people should be accepted for who they are, but that fundamentally as a society we need to shift towards a healthier way of living.

In my generation (Gen-Y) eating fast food, binge drinking, not being able to cook from scratch, energy drinks. Xbox, play stations, TV, iPad, iPhones and tablets are all things we have grown up with and simply what is done. Many people and younger do not know any other way of living. It is affecting our waist line.

So what do we do?

Like any other generation, we resent the comments "Back in my day.. " It is not your day, it is ours and things are very very different. Society has taken a fundamental shift from having to make do with what is in the cupboard, from simply being able to survive- to having excess. To have that feeling of affluence, of having things in our cupboard and going "you know what, I don't feel like that I am going to have this, this and this"

So we create these movements trying to force others to see it OUR way. Believing like every generation before us that WE are the ones that are RIGHT and know better. After all they didn't grow up with all this did they? We think we deserve this. We think that we work hard and deserve to reward ourselves with whatever we want.

But this not right. As anyone who wants to be healthy knows, what you want and what is good for you are two very different things. You want candy, but what good is that going to be for your body? Your body does not need sugar to function.

As a society we need to educate our young people to what is needed and what is not. That exercise is a NECESSITY not a choice. That HEALTH is important and cannot be compromised.

We need to teach children about growing, planting and eating from the garden. How to use those foods in cooking. How they benefit your body. How just like smoking, energy drinks are going to ruin their body. So too is being overweight and obesity. If not now, then in 20 years time as they start to slow down and stress, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and aches and pains start to kick in.

Already struggling to get pregnant, polysystic ovary syndrome and diabetes are kicking in for some of my friends who are overweight. They are only in their early 20's!!

If we as a society do not change, do not decide as a majority that we need to do something now I can only imagine what our future is going to be like.

Knowledge is Power. Or is it?

I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. It is what has affected most of my decisions. If I don't know much about an upcoming decision, I will research it until I feel comfortable and confident in my decision.

Sometimes that's easy, sometimes that's hard and sometimes you just have to make a decision based on your gut feeling. I get that, but I still feel more comfortable knowing that I have found out as much as I possibly could before making a decision.

I of course applied this to losing weight, I have read up quite a bit, googled and read about various diets, weight loss programs, benefits of exercise, how to maintain etc etc I take what I read with a grain of salt, not only is there no fool proof diet, but everyone is different and so are the results. So I have taken what I think is valuable and applied it.

This belief has been going well. Until I was talking with one of my co-workers. She is a very bright and intelligent woman who is struggling to lose weight. She is also very vocal about her knowledge, opinions and excuses. Yup, excuses.

I have now come to the conclusion, that for some people, knowledge is NOT power, but simply fuels their excuses.

Take my co-worker for example, she is in her mid 30's with a child, works 4 days a week and is overweight, if not obese.

She wants to lose weight, so she has started on these diet pills, which have had some effect. Which is great, even though I personally dislike pills.

When I asked her what she was eating, or exercising, she said the usual (eating) and that she had (insert excuses here).. ankle problems, not enough money, too little time etc etc for exercise, hence the pills. Once of course she has lost some weight, it will be easier to exercise she says.

Upon watching her, I have realised a) she goes to Macca's several times a week before work b) eats out a lot for lunch c) drinks soft drink at lunch d) eats chocolate/sugary sweets regularly.

This is not the first time someone has come up to me and said, hey I'm losing weight too! and have actually done nothing. Usually this doesn't affect me except when people use their knowledge and twist it to suit their own purposes.

I was on training last week with her this is exactly what she was doing. We were eating lunch when she came in with chips, kebab meat and gravy with a 600ml Pepsi. Some of the girls wanted to know what she was eating and then they asked why she was eating that instead of something like a sandwich or salad.

Apparently she is allergic to raw foods or raw protein or some such. Hence always buying take out- because it is cooked. She went on about her various allergies and what she could and could not eat etc Thrown in were a couple of references to diets where high protein, high carb diets had worked and lasted for % percentage of women etc.. and she had them eating out of her hand.

I could not believe it.

All I could think was, she could have bought some steamed vegies and cooked them in the microwave and had them with some chicken or cooked meat from the night before if she wanted to eat healthy. Or soups, or something!

Not deep fried chips with gravy and meat. And all the girls just nodded their heads and sympathised and that was it, she could eat what she wanted and not feel guilty or judged.

And just like that she had used her knowledge to fuel her excuses, not to make better and more informed decisions as I was.

It infuriates me when people do this. Not only are they not helping themselves, they are making it harder for the rest of us who are doing the right thing, and are actually trying to lose weight.

Success!

Two of my good friends, both severely obese, have started Personal Training!!

I'm very excited as I love them both dearly and have been telling them for a while to give PT a go, as it is most definitely worth it!

I hope it works for them as well as it has for me :)

Training update

So I have decided to up the ante and to train three times a week. I will still be doing my 2x personal training sessions on Monday and Wednesday and now I will be doing a GX boxing session on Fridays.

GX is a high intensity boxing session, using boxing moves you do a minute (or so) of a series of moves for as hard and fast as you can. Rest for 30 seconds and then move on to the next series of moves.

An example might be to do a left jab, right jab, right cross and then duck. You have to repeat those punches for a minute.

I was a bit worried when my trainer first suggested I come along, mostly because I haven't exercised in front of people since the beginning of the year when I was going to the gym, and also because I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up and would let the group down.

I shouldn't have worried. While I struggled with some of the exercises ( my coordination SUCKS!) it was no more than what any beginner would be like and I didn't feel like I was being left behind at all.

It was also a lot of fun, which is something I hadn't expected! There was a lot of bantering and jokes, as well as encouragement from the others, which was quite enjoyable.

I had yesterday off and decided to head to training earlier. I did 5 min jog on 8 on the treadmill. Then I had to do 200 sprints jump off the treadmill and do 5 chin ups before jumping back on the treadmill. I repeated that 3 times.

I was quite happy, because not only did I do the 5 min jog without dying or having to stop and walk (as I would have a couple of months ago) I also upped the speed on the treadmill for my sprints. Going from 8 to a 10.9. I have NEVER EVER jogged at over 8 before, let alone over 10.

I'm sure I would not be able to maintain the speed for any length of time, but I'm proud nonetheless that I am making progress with my fitness.

I finished off the session with 3 minutes of squats and 3 minutes of cross fit sit ups.

If you have never heard of cross fit sit ups (perhaps you know them by another name); sit down and put the soles of your feet together so that your knees are a part and as close to the ground as possible. Now lie down and stretch your arms behind your head. Now sit up and touch your toes. Try not to move your legs!

Good luck with your training, and if you have any cool exercises that you like to do, feel free to share!